G.I. Joe: Retaliation

 Movie Posters where people cease to look human

So, for some reason, 4 years ago a friend and I decided to go and see the first GI Joe movie, as kids we would play with the toys (only, in the UK, the toys were known as Action Force) and the cartoon was also a favourite of ours, so, what the hell, we saw the first movie! We walked away smiling like a pair of fools, sure it wasn’t going to be at the top of strokey chinned critics best of the year awards, but we loved it.

After 4 years, including a year delay, here comes the sequel, YO JOE!!!!!
The sequel sees the return of Channing Tatum as Duke and Ray Park as Snake Eyes plus a few others from the first movie, but centre stage this time is Dwayne Johnson (yeah The Rock) as Roadblock, D.J. Cotrona as Flint and Adrianne Palicki as Jaye. Not only all that but....Bruce motherfunking Willis as Joe himself! Ray Stevenson is bad guy Firefly with returning Byung-hun Lee as Storm Shadow also one of the host of villains on show. I really like Stevenson, his Punisher War Zone movie was brilliant.

Come on, be honest, it's really Michael Dudikoff in there isn't it

So the plot sees the Joe’s now established as the worlds leading military force, having to battle Cobra off the radar. The President, who in the last movie was replaced by Zartan in disguise, falsely sets the Joe’s up as a terroist threat and launches an attack on our heroes. Zartan sets about getting Cobra commander released from his prison cell and taking over the world, but with the Joes diminished how will they be able to save the world? maybe the original Joe might have a few ideas.

When he can't be bothered to walk from his trailer to set you can always call on weird mouthed CGI computer-game Bruce Willis to help you out!

So the acting is pretty good and people seem to be having fun with their characters, Johnson and Stevenson in particular, and of course Johnson looks the part as an army hero. I didn’t see the movie in 3D so I have no idea if the delay in converting to 3D was worth it. The story is a fun one with a genuinely disturbing scene for us Brits. Director Jon M. Chu does a pretty good job and balances the movie right and for his first action movie he didn’t do a bad job. The Ninja fights are edited a bit quick at times, probably more the editors fault, but overall I think it was pretty high quality directing, especially when you consider his last movie was a concert movie for Justin Bieber!
Oh how I hate you Bieber, you’ll never know how much. But its a lot.....really a lot.

Ooooh look at The Rock wielding his big weapon

Overall the movie reminded me a bit of a comic book version of a Mission Impossible movie, it may be a bit overlong for this type of film, but if you go in wanting to be entertained you should enjoy it. Johnson is a charismatic lead, the action is great and a lot grittier than the first movie, plus it has Ninja’s, and if you don’t like Ninja’s, let face it, you’re not truly appreciating life are you?

Hot chick. Check. Big gun. Check. Why aren't I watching this right now?

Its not going to live on in your memory as the greatest movie or action movie of the year, but its good fun nonetheless. Well I enjoyed it, but of course, I’m a Doctor of ACTION!!!
- The Doc