Atomic Eden SPOILER FREE Review.

I will pretty much watch anything that Fred "The Hammer" Williamson is in. No matter what he is doing he is normally good value for money and damn cool with it. So when I heard about Atomic Eden, originally during an interview The Doc and I did with The Hammer, I, of course, wanted to see it.

The plot, very briefly, is that the Nazis built a doomsday machine which has stayed buried for years under the radiation fall out of Chernobyl. However, since it is now, apparently, safe to enter the contaminated area for short period of time, it is up to Fred Williamson's hastily assembled "Expendables" style team to go in and stop the device falling into the wrong hands.

The movie, after a fairly swift first act, basically becomes a siege movie with action set pieces interspersed with the minimum of plot and character exposition and, honestly, for a low budget, European, independent production it sustains all that pretty well.

Yes, The Hammer brings his star power, spouts the odd one-liner, does a little bit of the physical stuff and shoots a gun a lot, which is all tremendous, but the real eye opener in the film is the martial arts of Mike Möller. Its the ambition of the stunts and of the fight choreography that really sells the film, even if the direction and photography is occasionally a little slow and flat.
What I will say though is thankfully there isn't a lot of shaky cam and there isn't some fake, 70s, flickery, grindhouse film effect on it. It's lit well, shot adequately and with a little quicker editing and some more dynamic camera work it could really elevate itself above its B Movie trappings.

The design of the faceless bad guys is very similar to George A Romero's The Crazies with them all wearing white radiation suits and gas masks. It's a great look and a good cheap costume for multiple people at once for a low budget production. The only thing is I would've requested all the extras wear black shoes because some wearing trainers/sneakers and some wearing boots etc. gave away the fact they were all just random extras. Impressive the production was able to get so many to turn up and some to do stunts, wear squibs etc. It added a lot of production value.

All of the characters have their own special expertise, style and nickname. This is a great throwback to the ensemble war movies of the 60s and 70s and adds a good light hearted camaraderie to the proceedings. The acting throughout, however, sadly isn't amazing and some of the line deliveries, especially the guy attempting a Texan accent, can be a little cringeworthy but the sheer balls of the project, the sturdy presence of The Hammer and Wolfgang Riehm, the martial arts of Mike Möller, good sound and clear photography win the day.

Definitely not the greatest low budget action film I've seen but far, far from the worst and as the debut feature from writer, director Nico Sentner, it's an impressive start and hopefully he goes from strength to strength in the future. I will watch future films of his for sure.

A sometimes flat but ambitious and enjoyable debut 6.5/10
- The Kick Ass Kid

Wild Card SPOILER FREE Review

If you're like me, or the Doc, or if you're a sane person then a new Jason Statham film, whatever it is, is reason for rejoicing. Maybe even doing a little jig, in a manly way.

After a fantastic and prolific run of films from The Expendables through to Redemption/Hummingbird, Homefront, while it was good fun, seemed a bit like treading water for old Stath. Then last year we only had the lacklustre Expendables 3 in which Stath was relegated to the sidelines, first with the appearance of the wonderful Wesley Snipes (which we didn't mind) but then bizarrely and wrongly for Ellen Klutz!
2015 though is shaping up to be more of a usual run for Jason Statham. It begins with Wild Card, we have his first foray into big budget comedy with Spy and a lead baddie role in the much anticipated Furious 7. Then hot on the heals of all that he kicks off 2016 with a sequel to his awesome take on Bronson and Winner's The Mechanic with Mechanic: Resurrection.

Ok, so to Wild Card then, what's the verdict?
Well the first thing I should point out is that it's not really an action movie, in the traditional sense. There is action in it and two of the scenes in particular are joyous, violent, exciting, well shot, brilliantly executed and suitably cathartic but overall I would describe it as a character piece with a slice of crime drama and action/revenge film tacked on for good measure.
I have read tons of reviews coming down on this movie, mostly criticising The Stath, and I have to say that they couldn't all be more wrong. The two best things about this movie are Statham and Simon West, the director. The third best thing is Vegas.

First though, let's get the bad news out of the way. The one thing the other critics won't say or do is criticise the Hollywood legend William Goldman who penned this film, the book it's based on and the Burt Reynolds version of the same story Heat from 1986. I, however, am not most critics. This script, which is almost identical in places to Heat, has no structure, pretty weak dialogue and never quite delves into the character of Nick Wild in the way the movie sort of suggests it should.
Let me explain that last part.
The film is made up of lots of little strands of plots. A crime story involving the mob and a battered woman's revenge, a wealthy kid who hires Wild to bring him out of himself and be more of a man and, all the while, Wild wanting to leave Vegas but also never quite being able to. None of which are ultimately, really important as they are all meant to just add up to a character study of Nick Wild who, we learn, is a well liked security expert/bodyguard/problem solver with a rough exterior but a heart of gold who has a little issue gambling.
It's the 'throw enough bits in a pot and you'll be able to cook something' approach to screenwriting.
What depth, character and moments there are to be found are brought out by the collaboration of Simon West and Jason Statham, not by anything readily apparent in the script and the pair of them are superb here.
It's a difficult watch though because it's not a standard narrative. The crime story sort of has a three act structure but not really and the film, if it was a traditional film, just sort of ends.

The other thing that threw me out of the film a little was the whole world Nick inhabited was populated by famous actors but all of them just showed up for one, sometimes two small scenes. It's an interesting way to cast a film but it did leave me sitting there thinking 'what the hell are they doing in here for just 5mins? that's a bit mad' rather than fully engaging with their characters.
Stanley Tucci, Jason Alexander, Sofia Vergara, Hope Davis, and Anne Heche all just crop up and are gone almost as soon as they appear. They play such innocuous, nothing roles as waitresses, card dealers, a lawyer, a mobster... just random 'that guy' roles but being played by recognisable, fairly high tier, character actors.
Due to the nature of the plot and the nature of the casting, when the film ends you sort of wish you could spend a lot more time in this world. I have heard this said by another critic but it's something I agree with, it's almost like a pilot for a Statham driven show on HBO or Showtime. It has that kind of plot and casting. A TV Show, I might add, I would watch every week. However as a film it does feel slightly like 90 minutes of set up and no pay off.

All that being said Vegas has never looked so 50s, shabby and cool. Simon West directs with the sure hand of an old pro while also putting in some welcome style and interesting editing. It has a 50s meets 70s feel, it's scored with groovy, slow versions of Christmas songs and it's very very cool.
Nick Wild is also a great Statham character because while he can handle himself physically, and he does in some tremendously choreographed, beautifully shot, violent as all hell fight scenes, he also has a nice sense of humour, a strong moral principle and a weakness for the cards. It is only this last aspect, the gambling addiction that traps him in the purgatory of Vegas, that just doesn't come across very well. There's either not enough time spent on it, the script doesn't write it well enough or it just belongs in another movie like a "Leaving Las Vegas" style thing perhaps. Statham does his best to sell it though.
If I had to pitch it to you it's Drive (the Ryan Gosling film) meets Leaving Las Vegas the TV Show pilot with Jason Statham.

oh look! It's Lee Christmas! wait... wrong movie...

I would say catch it on VOD unless you're a hardcore Stath head like I am. It does look kick ass on the big screen though, just saying.

- The Kick Ass Kid

The Raid 2 Berandal SPOILER FREE Review

The Raid reinvented action cinema and became, amongst the right people, THE film to know about and to have seen. Were there lots of precedents and already existing elements that went into The Raid? Of course but, much like the film it is often compared to, Die Hard, it is a film that has changed everything in the genre. For example, Sylvester Stallone saw it, realised Expendables 3 had to up its game and tweeted as much and although Hollywood is so slow and unimaginative that we'll see a Raid remake before we feel its influence in blockbuster fight scenes, you better believe it'll happen.

Gareth Evans though is a film maker that isn't going to wait around and isn't going to take some generic offer from Hollywood, just yet, when he can make a sequel in the same way they made the first film, by his own admission, in a 'creative bubble' with no one looking over his shoulder. I am sure if anyone did look over the shoulder of the man who wrote, directed, edited (on set and on the go!) and even helped choreograph The Raid 2: Berandal over the course of 6 gruelling months and on the jaw droopingly low budget of only $4.5 million, they wouldn't have a clue what was going on or what to say anyway. I know how they did some of the stunts and sequences and I still don't believe it!

The strength of The Raid 2, may also be its only weakness, which I will explain in a minute but basically The Raid 2 isn't anything like The Raid. Yes it follows on directly from the first film, stars the same person, has the same kind of awe inspiring fight scenes and the same limits testing, inventive camera work but in tone, story and pace it is very different. In attempting to describe it I have said it's both art house and grindhouse, action packed, comic book but dramatic, emotional, character and story driven, it's Donnie Brasco meets Hard Boiled, it's both utterly beautiful and violent, excessively gory and boundary pushing. Which is all tremendous but also leads to a long and unevenly paced film.
I definitely need to see it again now that I know what to expect and see if I still feel that way because, I have to say, during the first hour of the film because I was expecting, like a brainless idiot, The Raid again, I guess, I did find myself a little fidgety and, even, disappointed. This was entirely down to my expectation going in though and once the film hit its stride and started trying lots of different things I saw and appreciated what it was doing. So while, now, I perceive the pacing and tonal shifts to be a weakness, that might change and even if it doesn't, it's fantastic that Gareth Evans, Iko Uwais and co. tried something so different, second time out of the gate.

The Raid was criticised, by some utterly idiotic critics, for having little plot. I am sure the same critics thought of Evans as a one trick pony 'yeah the actions cute and everything but where's the character hmmmm' This is because most critics are ill-informed, humourless, action hating twats who hadn't bothered to see the excellent and full of plot, characters and drama, Merantau.  So, while the basic story of the script for The Raid 2 was actually written after Merantau and before The Raid, it still feels like Gareth Evans thought 'no plot eh? well I'll show you!' because the plot of The Raid 2 is so classic, so epic and so dramatic that, in some scenes, the fights can feel a little crow barred in actually, despite them all being driven by or furthering the plot.

I won't go into too much detail but basically our hero, Rama, in order to protect his wife and newborn son against the vengeance of the gangsters, whose business he effectively destroyed in the first film, begrudgingly becomes part of an undercover unit to weasel out corrupt police in the main Indonesian gang. This sadly means leaving his family in a safe house and getting himself purposefully arrested in order to get close to the son of the Indonesian crime boss Bangun, Ucok (Arifin Putra) while in prison. Meanwhile there has been peace for 10 years in the gang wars between the Indonesian crime family and the rival Japanese crime family, with each having and controlling their own defined territory. However a third party, Bejo (Alex Abbad) who has clawed his way up from nothing, decides to manipulate and eliminate his way into getting his own territory... and that's JUST the set up. There is SO MUCH more to it.

Normally I am not a fan of long movies. I think it's becoming a worrying trend. It's also difficult as movie theatres really don't have seats conducive to sitting that long. The Raid 2 is 150mins long and while there's definitely never a dull moment and I am not sure what more you would cut out, considering there are already 10 major deleted scenes apparently, I wouldn't usually advocate for that length of film. It has so much to cram in though and quite an intricate, part Shakespearean, part gangster epic plot that it definitely has plenty to do during that running time, not to mention the incredible fight/stunt sequences throughout.
So, to those fight scenes. Compared to the first they are bigger, have more people, more bloodletting, are more varied and are in many, many different locations. They are similar in that they are inventively choreographed and the camera and the fighter entwine constantly, like an omnipresent combatant and supporter, in such a pleasing and innovative way that it is both not immediately noticeable and would make my head spin if I had to work out or plan anything that intricate. During the spectacular car chase, the use of multiple operators risking life and limb at speeds of up to 60mph to get the effect that the camera comes out of one car window, floats down the road and then into the car behind it is absolutely jaw dropping.
Also for people, like me, who were watching the film and could completely, mentally appreciate the changes from the first film but were also waiting just for Iko Uwais to be completely unleashed on some people in a series of awesome kick ass scenes one after the other, like the first film, have no fear, the climax does NOT disappoint!
There is plenty of blood flying around in the film as well and, certainly in terms of gore and single, shocking violent moments, it certainly felt more brutal in places than The Raid. It is absolutely on the edge of a very hard R. To be honest, if this gets an R, why even bother having an NC-17.

The acting and the writing are also expanded upon in the second film with Iko Uwais, especially, playing a wonderfully angry, downtrodden, confused at times and sad at times version of Rama that shows so much depth of character in-between the frenetic fighting. Rama is not just the focus though in this film and all the characters have their moment. They have fleshed out motives, understandable reactions and there's twists and shocks aplenty.
I was talking earlier about a clash of styles and I described the film as a gangster epic, Shakespearean and even comic book like, well this is reflected in the characters, the set design and the cinematography.
The characters range from a serious, quietly spoken Yakuza boss played by Ken'ichi Endô, to the anxious, fiery tempered, ambitious, upstart son, to even a Manga like assassin duo with hammers and a baseball bat respectively, as their stylised weapon of choice.
The terrific sets range from gritty, shot-on-location streets, buildings and alleyways to meticulously designed apartments, offices, a banquet hall and a jail.
Likewise, the cinematography is one moment, still, specific, beautiful, slow and focussed and the next minute handheld, frantic and insane.
It's a film maker and his crew not resting on their laurels or repeating previous glories but instead using all of their abilities to produce a rich, varied and enjoyable film. It's diverse but understandable, it's crowd pleasing and thought provoking and it's massive, visual and jaw dropping while having moments of quiet, desperate, emotional intimacy.

Has some of the surprise of the first film dissipated? a little but not entirely and does it totally reinvent the game again? not at all and, if anything, is more traditional than the minimalist, relentless first film but both as a sequel and as a film on its own, it's an incredible piece of work. Incredibly assured, incredibly entertaining and incredibly inventive. It can now be added to the list and sit proudly next to The Godfather 2, Evil Dead 2, Aliens etc.

If you love action, gangster films or Asian cinema then make sure you watch this at least twice when it shows up in cinemas on the 11th of April.
- The Kick Ass Kid

Sabotage SPOILER FREE REVIEW

Sabotage is a gritty crime action thriller co-written and directed by David Ayer and starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Worthington, Terrence Howard and Olivia Williams along with TV hunks Josh Holloway and Joe Manganiello.
It is also, on the surface, an unusual film for Schwarzenegger who, despite a slate of upcoming sequels to his former big hits or franchises, is in the middle of a really interesting comeback. The criminally underrated Last Stand saw him try a little bit of an Eastwoodish turn as the old, tired, grizzled sheriff of a small town but still with all the humour and over-the-top action that used to be his stock-in-trade, Escape Plan saw him having tremendous fun in a bravado performance and stealing the film in his supporting role and in the upcoming Maggie he will be dipping his toe into the bloody and crowded waters of zombie films but with Sabotage it appears to be a first for Arnold: a, mostly, dramatic, serious performance, leading an ensemble cast, with, comparatively minimal action.

Arnie plays a tough as nails but quietly haunted and lost DEA Agent, whose special team of hard training, hard fighting, hard drinking and hard talking undercover agents are divided by an incident and investigation surrounding a missing ten million dollars. This fills the team full of mistrust, which only grows as they, individually, start showing up dead in a series of brutal, unflinching and hard R murders. Schwarzenegger must team up with Fed Olivia Williams and work out just what the hell is going on.

Sabotage is a film that is all about appearances. It appears to be a grainy, dark, violent and adult crime film which pulls no punches with language, nudity and gore but aspects of the plot are as generic as your favourite 80s or 90s revenge action film. We are told that Arnold's team are the best at what they do but we don't really ever see that as they appear to just be a bunch of loud mouth, alcoholic hotheads who happen to be armed. They also all appear to be innocent but maybe there's something else going on!
It's, also, a film that appears to be taking cliches from the past and turning them on their head and a film that appears to be clever, full of twists and reveals but, a few minutes out of the cinema, you have more questions than answers and any logic the script has falls away pretty quickly.
This, normally, in a wham bam, 80s throwback, action film wouldn't matter but structuring it the way they have and presenting it the way they have, demands you look into it a little closer and, when you do, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

One of the good things about the movie was definitely the fact that, from the trailer, I thought it would have that shaky-cam, grainy-video style cinematography that sadly passes for so-called "realism" these days and is meant to signal you're watching something edgy and serious but it didn't. The cinematography was pretty good and the action scenes, particularly, were clear, pleasing and watchable. There were a couple of moments where the camera would suddenly and needlessly be mounted on top of a gun or something silly but apart from that, very cool.
Another thing was Arnie and Olivia Williams performances, while the chemistry between them never really materialised like maybe the script called for it to, he has presence by the bucket load and she has the acting chops, so that you were always pleased when the film followed them.
Lastly it's violence and gore is joyously hard R, in your face, unflinching and even, at times, shocking. I wish it was attached to more enthusiastic and pleasing action sequences but that it was there at all, was a surprise.

Sadly though the movie has a lot of faults and I hate to write or report this as I really do think Arnie fans, action fans and thriller fans should go and see it, if for no other reasons but to make your own mind up and to see the Austrian oak do something very different in tone at least, if not in story. However, a couple of hours detached from the movie now and I just wish they'd told the story differently or it had been a different story. While I applaud anyone trying to come at generic material a different and new way, I don't think this did it successfully. There's a reason this kind of story has been told differently in the past, it's more satisfactory that way. Also it's full of plot holes which are covered only by the fact that, because we are meant to suspect everyone in the film, no one really has any kind of character to speak of. Their motives aren't quantified, explained or examined beyond very basic assumed reasons.
The second reason Sabotage is not the success or the film I hoped it would be, is that the team around Arnie are all arse holes and while Sam Worthington's character displays a little sensitivity and tragedy, quite well I might add, most of the time they are all obnoxious, swearing, ego fuelled, bickering imbeciles. I couldn't believe one of them had any more elite training than a low paid mall security guard and even if they did, not one of them seems to respect it. I understand the team in the film is meant to be divided by mistrust and devastated by the deaths of their team mates but there are more scenes of them visiting titty bars and drinking their body weight in booze than there are scenes of them kicking ass and taking names, which is a real shame and also annoying and grating.
Lastly, the film is also horribly misogynist. I can't, exactly, go into all the reasons why here but there aren't many glowing representations of women in the film, most of them are drug addled, whores or strippers. Not that the men are likeable and perfect either but they don't get anywhere near the bad representation that women do in the film. It thinks it combats this claim by having Olivia Williams' seemingly strong, intelligent character in there but it really doesn't once you see what happens.

None of these niggles, of course, have to matter. Despite all this stuff, I did enjoy the movie for what it was and it's definitely an interesting film for Arnie to have in his come-back cannon. It's nothing like I was lead to believe from the trailer though and it's not as clever as it thinks it is but disengage your brain and just go with it and there's a ton to enjoy. It's my least favourite of his films since 2010 though.
- The Kick Ass Kid

Dark Vengeance SPOILER FREE

We here at Dr.Action and the Kick Ass Kid headquarters, in conjunction with our parent site www.aftermoviediner.com, were very happy to get a preview copy of, one of our favourite action men, Steven Seagal's latest film Dark Vengeance. Set to hit Redbox and VOD services today Thursday, February 27th.

If the truth be told, rather than being a feature film, this is actually 2 episodes of his TV Show, True Justice, edited together. It is a part 1 and part 2 of the same, on going, serial killer storyline though so it sort of works, despite there being no traditional character introductions or setting exposition that might  have helped for folks not familiar with the continuing adventures of Elijah Kane (Steven Seagal) and his band of bland CSI: Miami wannabes.

Imagine True Justice the series as a sort of CSI: Seattle but filtered through the fascinating brain of Steven Seagal and you can sort of imagine the look, feel and sound of Dark Vengeance. Sadly Seagal rarely whips his glasses off, stares just off camera and utters some punning bon mot on the discovery of a body. He does get some pretty terrific Seagal style, semi-philisophical one liners though, which are sure to please fans of the man.

The plot centres around a tough-to-catch serial killer that has been bumping off strippers in a way that seems to link the deaths to Chinese mythology. As the bodies stack up, Kane sends the two female members of his team under cover at a PG rated strip joint with the hope of setting a trap for this, slowly becoming, mass murderer. However all is not as it seems when Kane apparently captures and shoots the man responsible only for the killings to continue...
Along the way Seagal stops off to natter Asian healing techniques, herbs, mystical balms and mythology with his friend Chen, play some distorted blues guitar and occasionally shoot someone or beat someone up, even if it's not always entirely apparent why any of this is happening.

Also, along for the ride, is the cameoing George Takei as the not particularly helpful and stater of the obvious medical examiner in the police morgue.

When the action is happening Seagal proves he can still aikido his way out of a convenient plot contrivance or shoot his way into a pleasant diversion. His hands are seemingly as quick as ever and when it comes to staging a lean, mean shoot out, he's your man. The serial killer plot, too is pretty good, even if bodies are seemingly racking up on a daily basis with no useful clues to further an investigation, which becomes a little repetitive. The acting from the supporting cast is serviceable and rarely grating although you can't imagine they were given much to work with. The big man himself, Steven Seagal does that whispery thing he does with that ever evolving accent, including referring to his team as the POleese (police). It's fun to watch, if sometimes a little hard to hear exactly what words of wisdom he's attempting to depart. He has presence though, I'll give him that.

There are a lot of wild liberties taken with the law and police procedure, as you'd expect and seemingly there are no official repercussions for Kane's lax and violent approach to his job. This would all be fine if the story justified it in any way but then you're always welcome for some gun play or fisticuffs as, when they happen, sporadically, it reminds you why you were here in the first place. ACTION.

The main problem is two episodes of a TV show, while maybe having the same running time, do not have the same pacing, momentum or structure of a feature film. They essentially, or normally, would have a three act structure condensed to 45mins with a cliff hanger/twist ending. This means that Dark Vengeance has 6 acts, a twist and apparent wrap up in the middle of the film and then a lead up to the next episode/film at the end. Watched, however, with prior knowledge of the series and I imagine this is a lot clearer and maybe more enjoyable.

While I am not, personally, a fan of the flash cuts and close ups of the transitions that typically appear in police procedural shows in the US these days, the rest of the scenes are filmed ok and with, at least, a definite eye to some stylistic set dressing and lighting. The director, Keoni Waxman does his best work with Seagal, however, in 2012's Maximum Conviction.

So the plot's a bit all over the place, the final villain a bit laughably obvious and you'll have a tough time of it if you're not familiar with the TV Show but it has some amusing one liners and some sadly occasional but top-notch fighting and shooting. Probably only for hardcore Seagal fans but not one to miss if you are.

- The Kick Ass Kid

Grudge Match, let's talk about how GREAT Stallone is and why critics are wrong, AGAIN!

SPOILER FREE
Far from being some silly comedy based on the Rocky meets Raging Bull gimmick, this was a well scripted, well performed film about men, age, skill, passion, regret and dignity that, also, happens to be hilarious.

The only negative for me was the unimaginative, slow paced direction and editing. With someone who actually believed in the material and had a bit more visual flair and a marketing team that had any skill and this film would've been perfect.
Kevin Hart and Alan Arkin are consistently hilarious and the emotional story lines DeNiro and Stallone have to carry are maybe cliche but always engaging, never overly sentimental, always understandable and from a very manly perspective - few words and whole shed load of meaning. When you throw in some fun training montages, a great end fight, DeNiro being the funniest he's been since Midnight Run and a few welcome, but never heavy handed, in-jokes you have a solid, decent, enjoyable film that more people should see and enjoy but probably won't.

As for Stallone, why is it critics are shitting on all of his movies? they portray him as a rangeless, emotion-less, slab of no good, idiotic meat and they can barely even bring themselves to acknowledge his action prowess unless in a derisive or ironic way. They criticise his acting, his looks, his speech - everything! but Stallone is terrific in Grudge Match. Utterly believable, charming and matches DeNiro beat for beat in the acting stakes. You say he has no range but was he playing Rocky? No! was he playing Rambo? No! was he playing Barney Ross? No!
Critics should watch old films occasionally and remind themselves that their set-in-stone, out-dated, stereotypical and lazy opinions about some actors are wrong. Al Pacino is mostly always Al Pacino, same with DeNiro and more-often-than-not Nicholson, go further back and Mitchum, Bogart, Stewart, Grant etc. all were GREAT but all had onscreen personas. Well so does Stallone but he's not always the same, any more than any of those other actors I just mentioned. No he's not Daniel Day Lewis, thank god! That guy puts on a fake beard, stoops over slightly, talks in a funny voice and people think he's a genius (misguided fools!) but Stallone is a strong, interesting actor and Grudge Match gives him some scenes to show that off. It may well be his single best straight performance roll since Cop Land.

Most people who go to see this film won't take away from it what I did and that's a shame but even if you don't, if you can look past the somewhat slow pace and inept editing, there's at least a good man-centric comedy there that never has to resort to gross-out or infantile humour to get a big belly laugh.
This movie got made because it has a cracking script, the Rocky/Raging Bull thing was just a bonus.
- The Kick Ass Kid

'Homefront' Review SPOILER FREE

The ever prolific Jason Statham is back for his third film this year! First it was Parker, then Redemption/Hummingbird and now, finally, the Sylvester Stallone penned Homefront, based on the book by Chuck Logan.
My reviews of his earlier outings this year were full of pride and praise for the guy who, despite harsh, incorrect criticism and rarely stella box office, continues churning out diverse, yes I said it, diverse films.
This time round please take that as read because, actually, in Homefront, Statham has delivered his most throwback, recognisable and just down right enjoyable action film of the year. While the junkets and interviews for this have tried to emphasise the emotion in the story, Statham showing vulnerability as a father and talk of The Man Who Is The Stath trying something different, actually this is the one movie this year that he's made that is just a straight up, old school, action film.

When the movie starts we see undercover agent Stath's last case gone bad when his delicate work undercover with a biker gang is shattered by the heavy and messy hand of the DEA. He resigns, his wife gets sick and dies and so his daughter (Izabela Vidovic) and him move to the Louisiana countryside that his wife loved so much. He hasn't been there long when trouble at the daughter's school escalates into confrontations with the local, strung-out hillbilly woman (an almost unrecognisable Kate Bosworth) and her no good, dentally challenged, lank haired man. Bosworth happens to be the sister of the local nut job meth dealer Gator (James Franco), who is unceremoniously banging an ex druggie biker chick (Winona Ryder) who,     in turn, happens to know the old biker gang who still hold a massive grudge against our musclebound, monosyllabic, balding hero.
The stage is set for all hell to break lose and for The Stath to do what he does best and clean house. Throw in a crooked but charming sheriff (The always welcome Clancy Brown), the dependable, one good man in a hick town, best friend (Omar Benson Miller) and the beautiful, red headed, more than perfect, school psychologist (Rachelle Lefevre) and you've got yourself a damn enjoyable, by the book, nostalgia tinted, kick ass action movie.

If you've seen and loved Walking Tall or Road House then you'll like this. In fact I had to chuckle when I heard the name he was using, at the beginning, as an undercover biker. You'll see what I mean...

Much has been made of the script being written by Sylvester Stallone, you know because short-term memory critics forget the man has written a ton of screenplays, was Oscar nominated and developed three of the most successful franchises of all time, but, here, again,  he shows that he hasn't lost his touch. Stallone writes relatable, human and enjoyable, kick ass entertainment and he does it almost better than anyone else. That's what you get here, some pretty decent character moments, some recognisably entertaining and enjoyable interactions, the odd cool one liner and action on and off through out.
There is a pause in the middle to allow for character and plot development, some father and daughter bonding scenes and a nice sense of building tension for the third act fight but Statham dispatching some lunk headed rednecks is never far away.

As for the action we get a couple of car chases, some old fashioned fisty cuffs and even an enormous explosion. Statham is an old pro at this stuff and, thankfully, there isn't too much shaky cam-itis or heavy handed editing to ruin his masterful handling of the rough and tumble, although, ideally I'd prefer my fight scenes with no added style or flash from, overly twitchy, DPs at all.
The direction from Mr. Old-reliable, Gary Fleder (Kiss The Girls, The Runaway Jury) is absolutely fine. He captures everything with the minimum of fuss and you're never unsure of what is going on. I imagine it would be difficult to make Louisiana look ugly but Fleder and his DP do their best to really make the surroundings pop with colour and texture.

As for the acting, the mad hodgepodge of a supporting cast do their roles pretty damn well actually. Kate Bosworth stands out in her role of the tweaker sister and it's by far the best she's been in anything I've seen her in. Franco is good, he doesn't overplay it and while he lacks overall menace and is clearly a bit out of his depth, he does his best to portray the strung out Gator as a ruthless, wasted loser who could snap at any minute. Winona Ryder doesn't have a ton to do and neither does Rachelle Lefevre but Clancy Brown and Omar Benson Miller are effortlessly enjoyable and welcome whenever they're on screen.

Statham is his usual strong self, with maybe even less to say in this than in his normal roles and while he seems comfortable and it's never jarring, he does, sadly, lack great chemistry with Izabela Vidovic, the girl playing his daughter. Which is odd because in Safe he formed a very real and pleasing on screen bond with the girl in that. It is not that Izabela is no good, either, because she's a great little actress and they do have some affecting scenes together, it's just not 100% believable, not that it has to be for the film to work.

So, for all of you who don't believe Statham does anything but the same character in the same film, hopefully 2013 has proved you wrong, if it hasn't, Homefront is hardly going to go any further to change your mind, that being said, if you watched Parker and Redemption and longed for some of the wham bam, throw back days then Homefront should help stop that craving.
For me, personally, I like them all. If I had to rank his last three it would be Redemption, Homefront and then Parker but there's really very little between them. They're all damn cool.

Long may Statham continue.
- The Kick Ass Kid

Battle of the Damned

Saturday night I went to the 'Day of the Undead' Zombie film festival in my hometown of Leicester UK. I do love a good zombie flick, but this year it had an added bonus, Battle of the Damned which is, basically, Dolph Lundgren vs Zombies.
The organiser, Zombie Ed, told us that the film company behind the movie said, “if you don’t like the sight of Dolph running around killing zombies, you’re dead inside”. Well was he right?

The basic premise is simple, Dolph plays Max Gatling, a private soldier hired to go into a cordoned off city to find the daughter of a multi millionaire. When most of his crew are killed off by the zombies, who are marauding through the city, Dolph sets off on his own to find the girl, not getting on the chopper sent in to take his group to safety. Dolph now must find the girl before the city is destroyed by the missiles attempting to wipe out the zombie infection.
Will he find the girl, get her to safety and any other survivors??

Lundgren still has it, his running shows his age, but it doesn’t stop him high kicking zombies in the face. His acting has gotten so much better over the past few years, he really is excellent, as are all the cast, everyone is pretty good, better than some acting you usually see in some lower budget movies.
Oh and Dolph teams up with robots, yep ROBOTS. The mood in the cinema watching this was fantastic, nobody was dead inside, seeing Dolph kick, stab and shoot zombies was an awesome sight, very fun and well made.
The only problem really was the old problem with action movies, in that the director really needs to hold the camera still! it goes all over the place! But overall its still a GREAT fun action horror. With zombies AND ROBOTS!!!!!
'Day of the Undead' has been running for a few years now and is always a great day for zombie fans, for more information go to www.terror4fun.com, its creator can be found on twitter @zombieeduk.
- Dr.Action

ESCAPE PLAN

So it is finally here and despite my high hopes, Escape Plan opened to shitty box office and mediocre reviews. It was nice to see, however, critics were less snobby and had less of their head in their arse than when it came to earlier action films The Last Stand and Bullet To the Head.

The film, like the trailer showed, is basically about Stallone's character, Ray Breslin who is an expert at breaking out of prisons. He runs a company with, clean-freak, Vincent D'Onofrio and, his cohorts in the getting out of clink business, Amy Ryan and Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson. They test the security loop holes in maximum security jails for the government.
When Sly is double crossed and winds up in 'The Tomb', a seemingly, impenetrable, hi-tech fortress run by butterfly-fancier, waistcoat stroking and dead-eyed company man Jim Caviezel, he forms an unlikely partnership with bearded Arnold Schwarzenegger and some others around him, to break out and get revenge. Throw in an odd 'wait is that Sam Neil?' cameo and bullet headed, rubber suited-rent-a-guard Vinnie Jones and you have yourself the sort of high-concept storytelling and set up for kick ass fights and explosions that we just don't get enough of anymore.

It's a strong plot, an awesome set up and the script is pretty good by similar, action film standards. The supporting cast, possibly the oddest mix of character actors and c listers ever assembled outside of a bad 2000s Christmas movie, veer wildly from being very dependable to odd and interesting, sadly taking in bland and awful any time Ryan or Jackson are on the screen. Ryan's banter back n forth with Stallone, in particular, is creaky and painful but the fault may lie, equally, with the slow and sloppy editing (more on that later).  I am not sure what Jim Caviezel is doing but he has decided that daintily painting a dead butterfly or slinking around in a tailored three-piece spitting out lines in a way that, I suppose, is meant to be threatening but comes off like he's being all sultry and trying to tongue fuck the leads, equals a cool and mesmerising villain. It doesn't quite but it's ok, passable and suitable to the genre at hand.

What you've really come to see though and what doesn't disappoint is Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Scwarzenegger. Watching them on the big screen is an unrivalled joy. That critics dismiss them and audiences ignore them is a crushing shame. People can't see past the baggage of their former careers and want to make every new film they do some how a comment on that, a throw back to that or unfairly compare it to the 'good old days'. This is to do Escape Plan, Bullet To The Head, The Last Stand etc. a massive disservice. Both of them still have the action ability, the star charisma and the acting skill in bucketfuls. I even think Schwarzenegger is a better actual actor now than he was in his heyday. In Escape Plan he imbues his character with a wonderful sense of humour, mischief, energy and intelligence that's not on the page. In Escape Plan they play real rounded characters with little to no nodding or winking at the camera and it's an absolute pleasure to see them work together both as actors on the screen and as characters in the story. Schwarzenegger has the bulk of the showy/stand-out scenes and Stallone does the running, climbing, punching dependable guy with sorrow and intelligence behind those famous heavy eyelids.

Then you get to the action. It's a little unfortunate that this film packs 90% of its gleeful, old school, shoot 'em up, beat 'em up, crash bangery into the last 20mins but when it arrives it is enjoyable, air punching, explosive moment after moment. It doesn't let up and it delivers like a milkman with a huge erection and a pint of cold cream. How can you hate on a film where Arnie tears an enormous gun off a helicopter, turns round in slow motion and fires off a thousand bullets into a group of electronic-sex-gimp looking, futuristic prison guards? it's simply not possible.

The reason Escape Plan doesn't quite hit the highs it might have done, is solely at the feet of the director. There simply aren't many good action directors working today and if you wondered if the future of action was Mikael Håfström then sadly not. While not the worst offender Håfström just can't film a hand to hand combat scene as successfully as you would like and, also, his pacing leaves a lot to be desired. While I understand he has Rambo and The Terminator in a film together and probably felt intimidated to fuck, the film could just do with being tighter and more interesting/exciting through the first two thirds of the film. Think Sodderburgh's Ocean's Eleven, Sam Raimi's The Quick and the Dead or Robert Rodriguez's anything! All could've made some of the clunkier, earlier scenes really zing off the screen and with some judicious editing and a cinematographer that was awake and alert, who knows what could've been accomplished.
Ultimately, though, I settled in and the direction didn't really bother me because once Arnie and Sly get together, they grab the film, run it right down the pitch and score a big touchdown with it, laughing and firing guns in the air all the way.

While Escape Plan was not the tightly wound, action filled classic I was hoping for, it was a solid, enjoyable and entertaining film which delivered enough that I left the cinema shadow boxing and giddy as a school boy full of pudding. I put it on a par with Bullet To The Head and just behind The Last Stand for 2013 action films.

The disappointment is that because of audiences being 12 and idiots we might not get to see the likes of these enjoyable for enjoyments sake, throwback action movies much longer, so, if you're like us and you're a fan PLEASE go support this and others like it whenever and however you can.
- The Kick Ass Kid

MACHETE KILLS

So, Danny Trejo returns as MACHETE, for some it may not be great news, the first Machete movie was greeted with mixed opinion but I, for one, loved it.
Robert Rodriguez is one of, if not my favourite writer/producer/DP/directors working today. I’m sure the stroky chinned, scarf wearing critics see him as nothing special, he doesn’t make movies about people trying to become better people while helping out a crippled dwarf, all done in black and white with long meaningful gazes into the camera but to these people I say, fffffuck off!
Rodriguez makes movies about cool mofo’s in leather jackets who carry huge guns and bigger machete’s.

The plot of Machete Kills is simple, Machete is recruited by the President, played by newcomer Carlos Estevez (this boy will go far, with a little tiger blood) to go find Mendez who has missiles pointed at the White House. Machete agrees, with the promise of US citizenship. Along the way we learn of deceptions and meet outrageous villains, including The Chameleon who change their image everytime they kill someone. 

Mel Gibson plays Voz, the mastermind who built the missiles and is the one who can switch off said missiles after Mendez detonates the bombs to launch in 24 hours. Rodriguez has again created a great set of characters, with previous ones returning, notably Michelle Rodriguez who is a great female action star.

Hollywood stars still want to work with Rodriguez and Mel Gibson makes his debut in a Rodriguez pic as James Bond like villain Voz. Is he good? Hell yeah! he is perfect! He plays the role with glee. As listeners to the show will know, Gibson is one of my favourite action stars and I can seperate the personal and the star. From seeing him in Machete Kills, next year might just see Gibson give the Expendables the biggest run for there money yet. He clearly had the time of his life doing this part.

Everybody in fact looked liked they were along for the ride, including a certain pop star, Lady Gaga, a new ass kicker on the action movie scene? Why not. The beginning of the movie shows a trailer for forthcoming movie Machete Kills Again...in Space, so who knows. There is a further trailer at the end promising it again, I CAN’T WAIT.

I do hope that either on the DAATKAK pod or AMD we can put out a Rodriguez special or series, the man is a genius and while other directors say they want certain independence from the Hollywood system, this guy has acheived it on his own terms, with a self sufficient studio and using Hollywood money to make the movies he wants. When he can attract top stars why wouldn’t they?

Let’s not forget recent guest on the After Movie Diner William Sadler, as ever he is fantastic, playing the Sheriff with real steal and a hell of a handgun.
Go SEE IT!!!!!
- Dr.Action

RED 2

DON'T WORRY! SPOILER FREE!!
When I saw RED in the cinema I liked it, when I watched it again on Blu-Ray I LOVED it. The humour was fresh, the action was great, the story was surprising, there was energy, great performances and some genuine punch-the-air and cheer moments. Like the lighter, comic-book, family version of The Expendables. I will never get tired of old folks beating people up. It's just better, funnier and cooler.

Now here comes the inevitable sequel and, truth be told, it's not bad. If you enjoyed the first one then you will not be disappointed by the second one. The script is ok, the performances pretty good and the action enjoyable.

For some reason and I can't quite put my finger on why, although the pacing and globe-trotting may be a factor, it doesn't quite have the zing, pop, crash, bang, cheer factor of the first. The action, while executed well and while there's plenty of it, has the little annoying twinge of 'you've seen this stuff already quite recently' and 'oh look, they've walked on to a sound stage, here comes another big set piece' and it has a little annoying script trait where characters we know and see being cleverer than the other guy are easily duped when the script requires it, even though the audience see it coming. These are, however, just small complaints as neither hugely detracts from the enjoyment of the film. One thing that seemed a little forced was the rather heavy handed jokes, nods and winks concerning Willis and Parker's ongoing relationship struggles but I suppose the screenwriter thought it would give everyone something to do apart from just shooting everything. Lastly, it's a tad, needlessly, over long and suffers from World War Z lack-of-blood syndrome, despite plenty of dead bodies piling up.

There are still some great, explosive action and fight scenes though and, despite the bloodless quality, it's plenty violent. On the plus side, too, the director doesn't wave or shake or flail the camera around during the action like a mental having a spasm, so you can actually see what's going on. A breath of fresh air after some spectacularly badly filmed sequences in a certain Summer blockbuster about a flying alien with a cape and little maroon booties. In fact, despite some of the, maybe overly critical, down points I listed above, the more I think about the film, the more I remember bits in it that seriously kicked ass and there was certainly one or two moments where fists were pumped and appreciative laughter happened.

Willis returns to the role of Frank Moses well and has a particularly fun scene in a records room at the beginning, Mary Louise Parker is charmingly ditsy although her make-up makes her look weird and plastic-surgeryesque from time to time, Zeta-Jones is a little surplus to requirements, Anthony Hopkins leaves little scenery unchewed, Byung-hun Lee plays the Jet Li in Lethal Weapon 4 role but does it well, I could watch Helen Mirren fire a gun from noon to night every day for a year and never get bored and Malkovitch (and his outfits) steal the show.

The film has a little bit of an Oceans 11/12/13 vibe, in the sense that you get the feeling the cast are having a better time on set than actually translates on screen but, overall, I would definitely recommend it.  It's not going to change any lives but I'd happily check out a third if the box office so demands it, after all it's by far the best DC Comics movie we've had since RED (the first film). Here's hoping, like the first, it gets even better with repeat viewings.
- The Kick Ass Kid

Hummingbird aka Redemption

It boggles my mind how unfamiliar a critic or interviewer can be with an actor's body of work and it drives me nuts that Hollywood has such a short attention span. I say this because all the reviews of this film have talked about their surprise that, in Redemption, Statham attempts to act.

Internet haters, the uninitiated and people who can only just remember 2011 often think of, the ever increasingly prolific, Jason Statham as 'just an action guy' the same way they think of Stallone as 'just an action guy' (despite his long history of not only writing scripts but directing and the fact that Rocky, Copland, Night Hawks and others are more dramas than they are traditional action films, shit Dustin Hoffman was considered for the part of John Rambo so, Stallone's no slouch!) and the other accusation that is often thrown about is "Statham just plays Statham"

If, however, you have seen Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, The Transporter, Crank, The Bank Job and Safe you know that Statham diversifies, plays different characters, is a damn engaging screen presence, takes training very seriously and has more variety on his CV than almost anyone ever gives him credit for.

Not only that but Statham, as he has gained in popularity and more importantly power, he has strived to work on interesting scripts, more challenging roles, with a variety of great actors and some, genuinely, different directors & writers.
Does he predominantly make kick ass action films, yes? some of the best in recent years actually, but within that genre he is an actor, aware of his limitations (and the ones imposed on him by a narrow-minded, scared Hollywood), that has tried to do as much different stuff as possible.

So along comes Redemption, or Hummingbird as it was called in the UK, after the unmanned drones that patrol the war in the middle east (one of the themes in the movie is 'the ever watchful eye of surveillance') and while the trailer may look as if it's just the next Statham punching, kicking and taking-names vehicle and while the critics keep talking about it being the type of film we've not seen Statham in before, this is actually a film that sits nicely in his timeline with the early Richie films and next to later, more dramatic fare like the good 'The Bank Job' and the patchy, despite the presence of Paddy Constantine 'Blitz' which I think makes Statham something of a contender for Bob Hoskins hard man with a heart of gold crown.

Redemption is about an AWOL Royal Marine living rough on the streets of London who, one night while on the run, after taking a fairly horrific beating from two local gangsters and losing his girl/friend manages to take sanctuary in a, luckily open, loft apartment. After slowly sobering up and healing he decides, with the help of the owner of the apartment's debit card and a confused, shy but pretty nun to spend the summer putting his life back together. Sadly that comes with too many catches for him to bare and while he attempts to balance the right with the wrong he knows the direction he's truly headed will lead him back to the streets and drowning his post traumatic stress in the bottom of a vodka bottle.

Written and first-time directed by Steven Knight (the man behind Dirty Pretty Things and Eastern Promises) Redemption is definitely a drama. There are moments of action, mostly the stuff you've seen in the trailer and there is an underlying revenge plot, like a Death Wish or a Get Carter but mostly it's a drama about a man attempting to face his demons while being torn between two worlds and the nun who attempts to help him but, herself, becomes torn between what could be and what is. Both of them are flawed individuals, both of them don't have the answers and both of them are prone to giving into temptation.

In the performances, the themes and the direction there are nice echoes of great early 80s Hoskins stuff like Mona Lisa. The leads all do good work with a pretty decent script, Statham gives a subdued, wounded and different performance than some might expect and his scenes with the delicate but occasionally feisty Agata Buzek are the films highlight. While it isn't Eastern Promises and while The Bank Job is probably a better and easier watch if you want to dip your toe into Statham's more serious stuff, I actually liked this film a lot. It even had me shedding the odd single man tear on occasions, I don't mind admitting.

For sceptics, cynics and haters looking to be blown away and have their opinions changed on The Stath I am not sure there is an assured enough hand in the director's chair or that the subject matter is 'palatable' enough for them to really concentrate and give him the benefit of the doubt. This is because while, yes, Statham is doing some really terrific work, Steven Knight drenches a light neon, Chinatown glow to London's streets, the beautiful cobbles of Covent Garden are given their time to shine and while there is tons going on, it's weirdly just not as engaging or as satisfying as it could be with a slightly different vision behind the camera.

All that being said, I liked it and, if nothing else, gives credit to an actor refusing to be pigeonholed and who, despite his Hollywood leading man status, keeps coming back to Blighty to give rich, varied, character based performances.

Keep it up JS!

-The Kick Ass Kid

Fast & Furious 6

Fast and Furious 6 has just been released in the UK and, quite truthfully, I didn’t know just how popular these movies were. As I entered the cinema, I was greeted with a line spanning two floors! Good job, then, my tickets were booked earlier.
Since Tokyo Drift, the third in the series, director Justin Lin has developed a series with an arc running through. Vin Diesel has also been working hard behind the scenes to make sure, as well as great entertainment and action, there is heart and a strong storyline.
The regulars are back from Fast 5 including Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez returns and new cast members include Luke Evans, Joe Taslim (The Raid) and MMA star Gina Carano.

Vin Disel and his team of petrol heads are tracked to the Canary islands by Agent Hobbs where the gang are living the good life after their multi million dollar heist from the previous movie. Hobbs needs a special team to take down a new breed of criminal, former special ops soldier, Owen Shaw, who’s planning a huge job in London. Hobbs convinces the gang to help by showing a picture of Letty, taken a week earlier, who is now part of Shaw’s team.
Diesel, believing her dead, takes his team to London to help Hobbs stop Shaw and uncover the truth about Letty. Its a pretty straightforward plot but as with the previous movies there’s twists and turns of course and car chase’s... lot’s and lot’s of car chase’s.
Carano and Taslim also get to show off their fighting as well in an action packed scene in the London underground. There still seems to be the old problem of hap hazard editing at work though, but nonetheless the fight scenes are great.

It really is a great summer blockbuster movie, Johnson wisecracks and beats up felons like a trooper, Diesel intimidates just by his voice, women kick ass, the lead villain is not to be crossed and there is even mention of his brother, who seems like someone I wouldn’t want to crank with.

Myself and the Kick Ass Kid are planning a special After Movie Diner where we will discuss this seemingly juggernaught action series, so listen, when it’s up, to hear us chat some more Fast Furious goodness but go and see this, put your money into an action series that is trying to build up a great running narrative throughout the series. An action series that is taking chances and building up tension.

Stick around at the end as well, its AWESOME. Forget Abrams Star Trek, this is a franchise that is getting better and better. We can't wait for Fast 7!

- Dr.Action 

Listen to our recent interview with British action star, martial artist and stunt fighter, Darren Shahlavi HERE

The Package - A Kick Ass Kid Review

Recording the podcast with Dr.Action brought me in contact with a lot of 80s and 90s action films and film stars that I was either not aware of or only had name recognition at best. It's been a genuinely rich and fantastic time with last years Speaktember (The films of Jeff Speakman) and our recent Gary Daniels The Britkicker month being particular highlights.

Around the same time and post Expendables  I was aware of a whole new batch of straight-to-video action films filling the shelves of my local retailer or filling up Netflix. So recently I have been delving a little bit into those and, if I am honest, despite them all having their plus points and featuring pretty decent action, they were a mixed bag. This was, usually and sadly, down to the directors and editors of these cheaply shot, quickly produced and distributed movies. Terrible shaky cam, erratic and often comically bad editing, poorly done color correction and all of it bathed in irritating, loud hip-hop soundtracks. This is a shame because the scripts were usually pretty good, the cast were doing their best and the action was clearly where they spent the money.

Tonight, however, I got to see The Package and, while I know it's not the only example of this, it surprised me, specifically, with how good it was made, not just as a straight to video actioner starring the always reliable Lundgren and the charasmatic, steely gazed, shit kicker Austin but as a proper, decent film. Much in the same way that something like a First Blood transcends the trappings of the 'action film' label and becomes something more, something classic, so The Package rose high above the standard low-budget action fare to become something damn good and interesting.

Just quickly for the record I like all types of action from the shot on DV stuff to the multi million dollar franchises, the above paragraph is really to just sing the praises of The Package's surprising production values, plot and script, depth of performance and editing.

The plot revolves around Austin's character who is ex-military and working as a goon/bag man for a leading crime boss. He is doing it to help his prison inmate brother out of trouble and out of debt and also because, sadly, he feels, there is no other work paying this well for a guy with, what he sees to be, his limited set of skills. He has a woman he loves but can't tell her as he seems ashamed somewhat and knows the danger of this job he's fallen into. Austin conveys all this mental conflict quite well and his scenes of reflection and scenes with his lady are charming and touching in an unexpected way.
The crime boss, the excellently named Big Doug, then approaches our hero with a proposal: deliver a package to 'The German' (Dolph Lundgren) in British Columbia and he'll wipe his brother's debt off the books.
It turns out there are two other second tier crime lords besides The German, all vying for the same power and territory. One, foolishly, attempts to kill The German, with cool, ass kicking Lundgren consequences and the other dispatches a team to intercept Austin and get the package from him, headed up by the always awesome Brit, Darren Shahlavi. The German is dying and The Package everyone is after may just hold the key to saving him.

Steve Austin, who I have only seen in The Expendables, Tactical Force and this, is a great find for me. He has the look, he has the fighting skills, he has a sense of humour and he's not a bad actor at all. After the last couple of films I have seen him in, I will definitely be checking out more.

From dramatically and artistically staged fight scenes to moments of dark humour and containing some lovely thoughtful, internal and even nuanced performances from Austin and, especially, Lundgren, this really was, pardon the bad joke, the complete package. The direction is assured and restrained and, in fact, without the explosive gun play, this could easily feel like a cool 70s crime film as the pacing is welcomely slower when compared to other ADD infused films. The setting of the North Western United States and West Canada also allow for the film to look and feel a bit different. It's overcast, often raining and pleasingly moody without being purposefully gritty and over reaching.

If your a fan of the action or crime genres I strongly urge that you check this out and see why there is definitely life in this old punch-throwing, action bird yet.

- The Kick Ass Kid

Olympus Has Fallen - A Kick Ass Kid Review

This review contains MILD SPOILERS
I have absolutely no idea how to begin this review. To process, properly, what I just sat through would take a super computer and a fleet of Stephen Hawkings.
First of all and let's get this out of the way, I, mostly, loved this film. This film has Gerard Butler in it and usually I can't stand the smug swaggering bell-end but in this he was alright. Yes there are a ton of people I'd have preferred in the role, of course Jason Statham springs to mind but, for once, I didn't want to reach into the screen and jab a ball point pen into Gerards stupid red puffy neck.

Butler himself produces this utterly absurd film along with enough other producers to form a producer only football team, with even a couple of guys on the bench tending to the half time oranges. Many of these, no doubt, suit wearing, money counting and grinning chappies, like Boaz Davidson and Avi Lerner, have worked previously on Rambo 4 and the 2 Expendables films and Olympus shares their over the top ultra violence, their moments of startling, seemingly realistic and out of place brutality but not really their hero moments, their star power or their humour. Recasting and re-scoring this film would have pushed it from loud, bonkers but enjoyable through to an absolute must see film classic.

I feel like I have jumped ahead of myself though. The plot, in case you weren't aware, is that terrorists take over the white house in an attempt to, well, start civil war in Korea? atomise the entirety of the United States leaving it a desolate, nuclear winter filled, pile of rubble? force the interior decorators hand and get them to remodel the entire house and paint it a fetching shade of mauve?
It, ultimately, doesn't matter, these are bad bad men, armed to the teeth who don't speak the language and there's only one man who can stop them. No, really, there really is only one man. These highly trained, exceptionally well prepared and dedicated terrorists have allowed for every single possible eventuality except for Gerard Butler. Well, don't worry, they'll know next time.

Playing like Die Hard meets Air Force One meets a feature episode of 24, the film is awash with joyous cliches and scenes you've seen a hundred times given a cursory going over. For example it starts at Christmas (action movies have to, you understand) and jumps forward to just after independence day (but of course it does!). The only real surprise here is how gory and brutal some scenes get. Having rewatched some 24 episodes recently it's remarkable how fun that show was while still remaining so utterly po-faced, deeply earnest and, yes, utterly ridiculous. Well that's sort of what we get here. Butler is most definitely a Bauer/McClaine clone but sadly without the charm of either of them, although he does get to rattle off a couple of pleasing, four letter word filled, one liners. It did mean though that on occasions I wished I was watching Kiefer Sutherland gruff whisper his way through the film occasionally stopping to torture a few crims and shout dammit a lot at a mobile phone.

Not that any of this is really a bad thing though. I LOVE Die Hard, LOVE 24 and LOVE ridiculous action movies that take themselves way too seriously, so while this is no Die Hard and no 24, it tried its damned hardest.

Also the whole film is completely weird to watch because although costing an actually, relatively respectable $70 million it also looks and feels entirely like a made-for the SyFy channel film. I am not sure whether it was the fairly laughable CGI, the wobbly sets or the TV lighting and sound but it leant the whole film a surreal quality because at one moment you're marveling at just the insane scale of the action, the extras, the violence and just how phoned in and old Morgan Freeman seems to be and the next moment you're thinking "wait, did Roger Corman have something to do with this?"

While it may sound like a moan, it's actually just another reason I loved the film.

Butler's supporting cast is a who's who of 'what the fuck are you doing in this movie?!' and a happy-to-see-you-sir Robert Forster. Nobody is particularly stand out and nobody is given a ton to do but they all do it well enough that you don't notice. Except Morgan Freeman who sadly looked old and played the whole film as if he was desperately unwell. Guess we'll have to see later this month in Oblivion if that was a 'character choice' in Olympus or just the product of age and the reminder of one too many Ashley Judd thrillers. Oh and talking about thankless tasks... Ashley Judd in this film.

The opening attack on Washington which is, obviously, the biggest set piece in the film and shitty CGI notwithstanding, is pretty great, pretty mind-blowing and actually pretty daring in the amount of bullet ridden bodies of innocents it piles up. Screw nuking the whole country, I want this bastard's head impaled on a pair of highly sharpened nose hair scissors just for all the fat, happy tourists and DC working stiffs they massacre in this section of the film alone. I honestly didn't know how to feel about it, I almost wasn't able to ignore the wanton death and just enjoy the action for actions sake, like I would normally but I also knew it was a silly film I was watching and none of this was meant to signify or mean anything except to eliminate literally everyone and leave our hero no choice but to, single handedly, save the child, save the country and save the presidency.

This odd and uneven tone between over wrought, chest thumping, B Movie Action and harrowing, dark, unpleasant violence was never more evident and problematic than in a scene where our main bad guy, the same dude who stupidly had diamonds in his face in Die Another Day, kicked and punched Melissa Leo's secretary  of defense in to a purple pulp of blood spewing unpleasantness all while surrounded by a set that looked like it was left over from Star Trek The Original Series. It was a scene that, while completely justified by the terrorists plans, was maybe a tad too disturbing for a film like this. To off set this she could've fought back a little maybe.
One niggle on that point was that there were too few hero moments. As horrible as what they did to sweary Oscar winner Melissa Leo, if she had kneed him in the balls, slapped him round the face or bit his ankle or something we could've at least cheered on the fact she attempted to give some back.

The ending of the film feels straight out of a Jimmy Kimmel or SNL Spoof of action  films and maybe pushes the cliche just one absurd step too far but luckily a hashtag joke just about almost saves it by saying 'yeah we know this is very very silly, please just come with us across the finish line, after all you've come this far, right?'

The problem comes, though, with the soundtrack and the obscene patriotism in the final moments. Yes the whole film is rampant with patriotism but nothing so unusual if you live here, they have giant American flags at shitty interstate gas stations for Pete's sake! but the film ends on such a cringe-worthy-Bill-Pullman-from-Independence-Day-speech followed by an almost sombre, serious brass and orchestral score that it makes you long for Argyle, a limousine and some bad 80s hip-hop. It doesn't help that throughout the film you want to keep yelling 'He's Scottish! A Scotsman is saving you!"

Lastly, to wrap up, I would say that if you like action, go see this film but go see it with low expectations and watch it with a sense of fun. Not to ironically laugh at it but to just enjoy a great throw back slice of disastersploitation. Yes the faces on the screen maybe earnestly grimacing to the point of rupturing but make no mistake, behind the burnt and tattered flag falling in front of a fake orange a purple dusk sky imagery, someone is having a ball making this old style actioner. If they weren't then they've failed at whatever their original intention was.

Oh and by the way, if you're a professional critic who contributed to the 47% negative rating this film gets on Rotten Tomatoes (while the fan critics give it a better 79%) you've failed at your job, AGAIN. Congratulations arse holes you are devoid of a sense of fun!

Roll on Roland Emmerich's White House Down, between that, G.I.Joe and this who is going to win the battle for taking over the White House movie of the year!?

-The Kick Ass Kid

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

 Movie Posters where people cease to look human

So, for some reason, 4 years ago a friend and I decided to go and see the first GI Joe movie, as kids we would play with the toys (only, in the UK, the toys were known as Action Force) and the cartoon was also a favourite of ours, so, what the hell, we saw the first movie! We walked away smiling like a pair of fools, sure it wasn’t going to be at the top of strokey chinned critics best of the year awards, but we loved it.

After 4 years, including a year delay, here comes the sequel, YO JOE!!!!!
The sequel sees the return of Channing Tatum as Duke and Ray Park as Snake Eyes plus a few others from the first movie, but centre stage this time is Dwayne Johnson (yeah The Rock) as Roadblock, D.J. Cotrona as Flint and Adrianne Palicki as Jaye. Not only all that but....Bruce motherfunking Willis as Joe himself! Ray Stevenson is bad guy Firefly with returning Byung-hun Lee as Storm Shadow also one of the host of villains on show. I really like Stevenson, his Punisher War Zone movie was brilliant.

Come on, be honest, it's really Michael Dudikoff in there isn't it

So the plot sees the Joe’s now established as the worlds leading military force, having to battle Cobra off the radar. The President, who in the last movie was replaced by Zartan in disguise, falsely sets the Joe’s up as a terroist threat and launches an attack on our heroes. Zartan sets about getting Cobra commander released from his prison cell and taking over the world, but with the Joes diminished how will they be able to save the world? maybe the original Joe might have a few ideas.

When he can't be bothered to walk from his trailer to set you can always call on weird mouthed CGI computer-game Bruce Willis to help you out!

So the acting is pretty good and people seem to be having fun with their characters, Johnson and Stevenson in particular, and of course Johnson looks the part as an army hero. I didn’t see the movie in 3D so I have no idea if the delay in converting to 3D was worth it. The story is a fun one with a genuinely disturbing scene for us Brits. Director Jon M. Chu does a pretty good job and balances the movie right and for his first action movie he didn’t do a bad job. The Ninja fights are edited a bit quick at times, probably more the editors fault, but overall I think it was pretty high quality directing, especially when you consider his last movie was a concert movie for Justin Bieber!
Oh how I hate you Bieber, you’ll never know how much. But its a lot.....really a lot.

Ooooh look at The Rock wielding his big weapon

Overall the movie reminded me a bit of a comic book version of a Mission Impossible movie, it may be a bit overlong for this type of film, but if you go in wanting to be entertained you should enjoy it. Johnson is a charismatic lead, the action is great and a lot grittier than the first movie, plus it has Ninja’s, and if you don’t like Ninja’s, let face it, you’re not truly appreciating life are you?

Hot chick. Check. Big gun. Check. Why aren't I watching this right now?

Its not going to live on in your memory as the greatest movie or action movie of the year, but its good fun nonetheless. Well I enjoyed it, but of course, I’m a Doctor of ACTION!!!
- The Doc